I have had a few requests to list the members of The Filth along with a few of their attributes, so here goes.
I will list them in surname alphabetical order so as not to cause any arguments over favouritism:
Danny Cooke - Deputy Yorkshire Regional Organiser - aka Gangster:
While nice to look at (in my humble opinion), since gaining a degree of responsibility within the Party he has allowed the power to go to his head. A self confessed "hard man", the Gangster claims to have a bit of a reputation around his home town of Barnsley and plays up to this reputation quite well. Unfortunately, the actions of this "tough Cookie" seem to be limited to angry status updates and dictating to people who they can and can't be friends with on Facebook. Terrifying I'm sure you will agree.
Should be approached with caution, or food.
Rachel Firth - Kirklees Organiser - aka Welly:
On/off girlfriend of the Gangster, another self important Party Official. Not too much that I can say about Welly to be fair, in her defence, she has kept relatively quiet but given the opportunity to attack, she will do with gusto.
Can be approached, preferably with a decent bra before she ends up wearing her boobs as flip flops.
Darren Lumb - Wakefield Organiser - aka Fence:
Here we have another egotist. Fence is clever though, he rarely will post anything offensive but again, just as Welly, when given the opportunity, will come out firing on all cylinders.
Likes to be chained to things, can be approached, ideally with a copy of The Magna Carta or the paperback edition of the Black & Decker: Complete Guide to Garden Walls & Fences.
Gary Tumulty/Gareth James - Salford Organiser - aka Fruitbat:
Gary, who also uses the Gareth James profile on Facebook (as proven), was actually a late comer to The Filth, his name had never even come up until his FB profiles were linked and the finger pointed at him for setting up the hate groups targeting one of the Leadership Challengers. Gary is quite clearly not only a thick as two short planks when it comes to writing correctly, but also delusional, suggesting that I had a "thing" for him was the reason behind him becoming a member of The Filth. I think that I more than adequately quash that suggestion in the Fraggle And Flumps article.
Can be approached with no sudden movements and a copy of the Oxford Learn To Write Practice Book (available from all good bookstores).
Chris Vanns - Burnley Organiser - aka Burger Man:
Burger Man is a perfect example of who you would NOT want representing the Party. Oafish, offensive, unsightly and simple, Burger Man resembles Neanderthal Man but unfortunately hasn't evolved as well. He makes his opinions, of women especially, very clear in the screenshot shown in the How To Win Friends And Influence People article. Another literary genius and producer of such gastronomic delights as the bacon butty and the burger in a bun.
